Don’t get Hansy now!

*Warning this blog post will talk about the Female reproductive parts and menstration, as well as sex, drugs and rock and roll (actually not really)*

So I think after this week I will have met my quota for physical contact, infact I’ll probably have overdosed on it.

Now those of you who know me, or read this blog, know that I am not a people person. In fact I pretty much screw up any type of contact I have with other people. I am not known for being “Nice” , “caring” or “considerate”. I am in no way subtle about my feelings and make it known as soon as the thought barges into my head. This does not exactly make me a popular person.

Also I don’t really liked to be touched. Given the description of myself and the number of failed first, second and sometimes third impressions, why would I be a touchy person? The point i’m trying to get to is that for some reason June has become the “Let’s see how many times we can initiate physical contact with TroubledFred”. People have been finding excuses to shake my hand, hug me, touch my hair and grab my hand, I always react the same way I tense up and my mind sort of short circuits as my body rebels against this sensory overload and I kinda wanna just shout ‘I need an adult!’. Is everyone just out mess with me? to get back at the number of times I ‘accidentally’ insulted someone or have done something embarrassing?

It also doesnt help that I started going to a chiropractor, my first session was actually on Monday, and that itself has filled my quota for the year. It wasn’t too bad except for my shaking and inability to relax. The poking, prodding and bending I needed to do sorta jumbled my mind to the point where most of the stuff that came out of my mouth was (at least to me) gibberish and I don’t remember any of it. He told me a number of times to relax in which I replied okay then tensed even more because how can I relax when someone I just met is touching me? In the end he only realigned my pevis, he sensed that I should start small until I get used to all the touching (I won’t).

I kinda feel bad for my fiance, our usually routine of having sex like bunnies and doing it whenever we have free time has been greatly affected by this and this is just after I just recently got over my battle with death (okay not really death but it freaking felt like it), so I was entirely ready to literally screw him into oblivion. I just can’t bring myself to do it when I get touched by someone, I feel dirty and just raw.

It also doesn’t help that my appointment with my OBGYN is today and she will be poking and prodding an area that only my fiance has touched and really I should be used to it because I am a woman and I bleed for 5 days straight from my vagina and the doctor make sure that I don’t have vampiric gnomes living in my fallopian tubes of toll trolls living in my uterus, she won’t even buy me dinner first.

So the point of all this is please, stop touching me! I don’t like it, I don’t want it and my fiance will hate you if you keep doing it.

Thanks!
BTW I have Madonna’s Like a Prayer stuck in my head.

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