Why my faith in humanity has just gone down

So I really, really wanted to keep this blog positive, upbeat and about fashion, Beauty and health. I was originally planning a post on receiving my Stylish Surprise from Modcloth this week, but it looks like things change and now I’ll have to plan it for tomorrow.

So Today I was driving from a meeting in Long Beach to Torrance. It was a beautiful day today so I thought ‘What the Heck’ I’ll skip the air conditioning and roll the window down. Lana Del Rey was Blaring ‘Summertime Sadness’ and I was feeling pretty great. My shades were on and I was as relaxed as I had been all week just driving down PCH. That was until two guys pulled up in the left turn lane next to me in a white pickup. I saw they were looking at me but I just ignored it since it was a great day. Then they started calling out to me, they were asking for my name and number tell me how ‘cool and awesome’ I seemed and how hot I looked. i just smiled and told them I was married and flashed my wedding ring as to prove it. Unfortunately this did not deter them, in fact it seemed to spur them on even more.

Decided that I finally had enough and rolled up my window. This apparently displeased them greatly so they thought it was a good idea to throw trash, lit cigarettes and soda on my car, I was unable to get their license plate because their light turned green. I don’t know what I would have done had I gotten their license plate. The situation only took about a minute, but in that minuet my day was ruined and I still had to return to work.


When I returned to work I was upset and explained to my coworkers what happened. Their reaction was to roll their eyes and say ‘yea, I hate it when guys do that’ Now this isn’t the first time that I’ve been hit on then yelled at for not reacting the way they wanted. I have even been groped in a club before (I immediately tried to fight the guy). Why is this is normal for us? Why do we just look the other way when behavior like this happens? I’m not just talking about men either, I’ve seen women harass others just as much. Why do people think that cat calling while hanging out of your car is okay? Do you think this would make me like you? Do you think that it turns me on when you yell or touch me inappropriately? I’m a married women who deeply loves her husband why in the world would I was to cheat especially with someone like you?

This is not okay. It will never be okay and we should accept this.


I’m Here, Just Got a Bit Lost on the Road to Life

So, I’m still here just horribly busy with my wedding that’s coming up in about a month.

I can see the appeal of why people elope. Last month I was seriously considering just cancelling the wedding and going to Vegas. Actually pretty much still considering it, if only the deposits I made were refundable then I probably would hesitate and 2 plane tickets to vegas would be books in about an hour, $2,000 is alot of just waste away.

I feel like someone should have warned me about the politics of getting married. Everything was fine until I mailed the invitations out, now all of a sudden I feel the stress of dealing with people. As you’ve read before on my blog, I am not a people person, so this has so far been the worse part of planning this wedding. I shaw list all the problems I have been having with this wedding. Lists are comforting, lists make me feel in control. Lists are good.

1. RSVPs. My RSVP date was August 3rd. Todays date is August 7th. 1/3 of my guest list still haven’t RSVP’d. That means I have to contact each person, ask if they recieved the invite (which all of them replied that yes they have). I then have to remind them to please send their RSVP, which they reply ‘Can’t you just mark I’m coming’. I then sigh and just reply that in order to keep my records exact to please mail the RSVP. People don’t understand that I have LOTS of stuff I’m doing and planning and this is just tedious. It’s plain rude to not send the RSVP card in, its rude to argue with the person asking you to send the RSVP card. Apparently most of my guests are rude people. Another fact, if I mark a person down as they are coming and they don’t show up thats $35 down the drain. This way I have the RSVP card as proof (a contract of sorts) that you said you were coming to my wedding, and I didn’t just put you down because I really hoped you would come.

2. Seating arrangements. I know some people don’t get along, and some people really want to sit next to certain people, but when you have 100 trying to accomidate everyone is just a pain. Something I don’t want to deal with and I havent be able to really figure out, but I’m still working on it.

3. Peoples attitudes. Yes I know some people are unhappy with certain things, like the face that I stated no kids for the wedding, or the fact that the ceremony and the reception are on two different days. Some people are even giving me attitude about the fact the reception is on a friday. I don’t try to argue, I just ignore it, if these things bother you then just don’t come. I’m not forcing you to come to my wedding, this is MY and my FIANCE wedding. WE are the ones paying for it.

So I can’t wait for the date! Despite these three things I am going to enjoy my wedding and have fun and rejoice in the fact that I am marrying my dream man.

Don’t get Hansy now!

*Warning this blog post will talk about the Female reproductive parts and menstration, as well as sex, drugs and rock and roll (actually not really)*

So I think after this week I will have met my quota for physical contact, infact I’ll probably have overdosed on it.

Now those of you who know me, or read this blog, know that I am not a people person. In fact I pretty much screw up any type of contact I have with other people. I am not known for being “Nice” , “caring” or “considerate”. I am in no way subtle about my feelings and make it known as soon as the thought barges into my head. This does not exactly make me a popular person.

Also I don’t really liked to be touched. Given the description of myself and the number of failed first, second and sometimes third impressions, why would I be a touchy person? The point i’m trying to get to is that for some reason June has become the “Let’s see how many times we can initiate physical contact with TroubledFred”. People have been finding excuses to shake my hand, hug me, touch my hair and grab my hand, I always react the same way I tense up and my mind sort of short circuits as my body rebels against this sensory overload and I kinda wanna just shout ‘I need an adult!’. Is everyone just out mess with me? to get back at the number of times I ‘accidentally’ insulted someone or have done something embarrassing?

It also doesnt help that I started going to a chiropractor, my first session was actually on Monday, and that itself has filled my quota for the year. It wasn’t too bad except for my shaking and inability to relax. The poking, prodding and bending I needed to do sorta jumbled my mind to the point where most of the stuff that came out of my mouth was (at least to me) gibberish and I don’t remember any of it. He told me a number of times to relax in which I replied okay then tensed even more because how can I relax when someone I just met is touching me? In the end he only realigned my pevis, he sensed that I should start small until I get used to all the touching (I won’t).

I kinda feel bad for my fiance, our usually routine of having sex like bunnies and doing it whenever we have free time has been greatly affected by this and this is just after I just recently got over my battle with death (okay not really death but it freaking felt like it), so I was entirely ready to literally screw him into oblivion. I just can’t bring myself to do it when I get touched by someone, I feel dirty and just raw.

It also doesn’t help that my appointment with my OBGYN is today and she will be poking and prodding an area that only my fiance has touched and really I should be used to it because I am a woman and I bleed for 5 days straight from my vagina and the doctor make sure that I don’t have vampiric gnomes living in my fallopian tubes of toll trolls living in my uterus, she won’t even buy me dinner first.

So the point of all this is please, stop touching me! I don’t like it, I don’t want it and my fiance will hate you if you keep doing it.

BTW I have Madonna’s Like a Prayer stuck in my head.

My Head Might Just Explode

My head might just explode and it’s not because of my ego either.

I woke up this morning grumpy, tired and so full of ‘Fuck off’ that I’m having trouble thinking clearly, I am also finding myself getting irrationally angry at everything. My coworker’s tone of voice, my phone, I am even getting mad at the way I’m writing my ‘R’.

I think I am doing a great job at hiding the volcano of anger that seems to be bubbling under the surface of my skin. The start of this week actually seemed great, I felt accomplished, I’ve been working out and my energy level was great, But today it seemed like all the work from the past week was completely trashed because of how I woke up.

This needs to end soon, I will not have my weekend ruined because of this

A Day to Remember

In Honor of A Day to Remember, who by the way I saw in San Diego at the Soma over the weekend.

They were awesome.

This is most of my Favorite songs by them

All I Want

A AMAZING video, My favorite actually. Everytime I watch it I see how many bands/people I can try to name

Downfall of us all

This song was even 10x better live (just so you know)

All Signs Point to Lauderdale

This song is somewhat personal to me. Reminds me of middle school and high school when I was just a angry kid who wore baggy jeans and hooded sweat shirts

Have Faith in me

Every time I’ve gone to see them live they have played this song and each time the memory hits me I can just smile.

You had me at Hello

This will more than likely be our first dance at our wedding, so you know how much this song will mean to me

Wondercon 2013


Wondercon 2013 came and passed this last weekend, leaving me with tons of artwork, no frames, and a decrease in nerd energy. Now I’m faced with the real world and I hate it. This year it was once again held in Anaheim Convention Center giving us Southern Californians a chance to rejoice.

Teeny Iron Man

Starting my Wondercon adventure on Friday I visited my most anticipated panel; The psychology of Star Trek Vs. Star Wars. This panel was amazing with Dr. Andrea Letamendi and Hugh Sterbakov for Star Wars



and Dr. Ali Matu and Larry ‘Dr. Trek’ Nemecek.


The referee was Brian Ward who did a pretty good job trying to stay unbiased. It was pretty obvious, to me, who won this debate, but I won’t name any names.


I spent the rest of the day exploring the floor and even getting a caricature done of myself that displayed my awkward smile. This year they had food trucks parked outside (woot!) which I got a amazing pulled pork Sammy that was pretty much mouthwateringly good.


The cosplay this year was a bit upsetting, a majority of it being Dr. Who, Harley Quinn and steampunk. There were a couple of costumes that were amazing but unfortunately I was unable to take as many photographs as I wanted (Hey there’s always next year crosses fingers for Wondercon Anaheim 2014).
I promise next year I will dress up as some obscure Character no one knows.





Why am I let out of my cage?

So this morning I had a converstation with someone I used to know in high school turns out hes a security guard for the building I work at, and he recognized me. I thought that with the surprisingly amount of great conversations I’ve had recently I was cured of my foot in mouth disease turns out I was wrong.

Security Guard: Hey, I think I know you.
TroubledFred: Ok…
Security Guard: Yea I think we used to go to ‘blah, blah’ high school together.
TroubledFred: (realized he was right) Oh yea! We had Drama together. You asked me out once for Homecoming, but I said no because I really did not want to go with you.
*ensure awkward silence*
TroubledFred: So…It was nice seeing you again.
Security Guard: Yea, I guess.

I did not mean for it to come out like that. High school was like 8 years ago, but apparently bringing up the fact that you turned someone down (no matter how long ago it was) is a no no for conversations. Now I know and knowing is half the battle (GI Joe!)

Just a little something I wanted to post, I will be writing about Wondercon 2013 later. Plus a little bit about the wedding that I can’t seem to plan correctly.

Great Realizations and Turning 26

Last Thursday I turned twenty six and I’m now officially on the ‘wrong side of twenty five’, because of this I have seemed to have been tormented by realizations.

–          I’m getting married in six months

–          I want to go back to school soon

–          I may or may not be a shopaholic

–          On day I think I may actually want to have kids, whether or not it’s adoption or actually birthing one(shudder) is up in the air.

–          I truly am a responsible adult.

 This was just the icing on the cake. All these realization seemed to hit me in a span of about twenty seconds while I was online looking at shoes. It left me feeling disoriented and confused.

I know this does not seem like huge eye awakening epiphany, but when it hits you all at once it somewhat stupefies you. It seems that since then I’ve just been having realizations left and right.

Am I having a mid-Mid life crisis? I’m most likely just making mountains out of mole hills.

On a good note it seems as if my social life has been looking up. People are actually asking to be seen with me in public. This is making me entirely too happy, that despite my rambling mouth, wayward attention and insensitivity people still like me. They really like me.